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Resources  email page print page Basic Information Chapter 1 - Self-help: What is it? Chapter 1 - IndexIntroduction to the Online Self-Help BookTaking Action is KeyExample of Taking Action (with analysis)Steps in the Self-help ProcessSteps 1-4: Problem AnalysisSteps 5-7: Planning a SolutionSteps 8 and 9: Taking ActionSteps to Self-Help OverviewBenefits of Self-helpDisadvantages of Self-helpWhen Self-help Is InappropriateDeciding Whether to Use Self-help or Professional HelpDiagnosis vs. Self-DiagnosisRisks of Self DiagnosisConclusion Chapter 2 - Understanding the Nature of your Problem Chapter 2 - IndexIntroductionIdentify What Life Domains Are AffectedSocial ProblemsLifestyle IndicatorsSelf Identity ProblemsLevels of EmotionSexual Identity and Gender IdentityCultural IdentityLife Domains ConclusionDraw Upon Your ExistingSources of Inaccurate KnowledgeSources of Inaccurate Knowledge: ConclusionTelling True From FalseDraw Upon Scientific Methods and KnowledgeConcerns in Science Chapter 3 - Overview of Bio-Psycho-Social Theories Chapter 3 - IndexIntroductionThe "bio-psycho-social" ModelImplications of Medicine for Self-helpImplications of Psychological Theories for Self-help: IntroductionLearning TheoryPsychodynamic TheoriesHumanistic TheoryPersonality Trait TheoryDevelopmental TheoriesSocially Oriented Theories: Family SystemsSocially Oriented Theories: Further Points Chapter 4 - Meeting Basic Needs Chapter 4 - IndexIntroductionMethods for Meeting Basic NeedsMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: Shelter, Food, and Medical CareMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: NutritionMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: SleepMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: ExerciseMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: SafetyMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: BelongingMethods for Meeting Basic Needs: Relaxation and FunAssessing Basic Needs Chapter 5 - Changing Behavior and Thought Chapter 5 - IndexMethods for Changing Behavior and ThoughtsTechniques for Learning New BehaviorsTechniques for Unlearning Old BehaviorsTechniques for Unlearning Old Behaviors: ExtinctionTechniques for Unlearning Old Behaviors: Self-MonitoringTechniques for Unlearning Old Behaviors: Biofeedback and NeurofeedbackTechniques for Unlearning Old Behaviors: OverviewDealing with Avoidance-Motivated BehaviorDealing with Avoidance-Motivated Behavior: ExposureDealing with Avoidance-Motivated Behavior: Response PreventionDealing with Avoidance-Motivated Behavior: Flooding and Rational OverrideDealing with Reward-Motivated Behavior: Relapse PreventionDealing with Reward-Motivated Behavior: Relapse Prevention (Continued)Dealing with Reward-Motivated Behavior: Tapering Methods vs. Cold TurkeyDealing with Reward-Motivated Behavior: Aversion TherapyApplying Learning Principles to ThoughtsApplying Learning Principles to Thought: Cognitive RestructuringCommon Types of Thought and Belief MistakesCommon Types of Thought and Belief Mistakes: Jumping to Conclusions and Emotional Reasoning BiasesCognitive RestructuringCognitive Restructuring: Thought StoppingCognitive Restructuring: Self-Suggestion ApproachesCognitive Restructuring: Self-Suggestion Approaches (Continued) Chapter 6 - Changing Your Mood Chapter 6 - IndexMethods For Changing Your MoodSelf-Soothing Techniques: Venting and JournalingSelf-Soothing Techniques: Relaxation Methods, Progressive Muscle Relaxation, and MassageSelf-Soothing Techniques: Autogenic Training and YogaSelf-Soothing Techniques: MeditationSelf-Soothing Techniques: DistractionSelf-Soothing Techniques: Physical Exercise Chapter 7 - Changing Your Knowledge Chapter 7 - IndexChanging Your Knowledge, Skills and Abilities and CredentialsPersonal Knowledge and Informal LearningPublic, Documented Knowledge and Credential ProgramsLearning Knowledge vs. SkillLearning Knowledge vs. Skill: PracticeTime Management and OrganizationTime Management and Organization: Commitment Mapping Chapter 8 - Changing Your Relationships Chapter 8 - IndexMethods For Changing Your RelationshipsSocial SkillsSocial Skills: Role PlayingNetworkingSocializationSetting boundaries AppropriatelySetting boundaries Appropriately: Assertiveness TrainingSetting boundaries Appropriately: Assertiveness Training (Continued)Setting boundaries Appropriately: Anger ManagementSetting boundaries Appropriately: Aggressive BehaviorValues Clarification (Again!) Chapter 9 - Changing Your Identity and Motivation Chapter 9 - IndexMethods For Changing Your Identity and Your MotivationsExploring Perspectives on the Past, Present and FutureChanging Perspectives On The PastChanging Perspectives On The Past: Autobiography and Analysis of TransferenceChanging Perspectives On The Past: GenogramChanging Perspectives On The Past: OverviewMethods for Changing Perspective on the PresentMethods for Changing Perspective on the Present: Understanding Your Basic Personality ProfileCoping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Basic and Intermediate DefensesCoping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Mature DefensesCoping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Mature DefensesCoping Strategies and Defense Mechanisms: Questions to Ask OneselfValues and Morals ClarificationValues and Morals Clarification: Value ChangesMethods For Changing Perspective On The FutureMethods For Changing Perspective On The Future: Challenging Pessimistic Tendencies Chapter 10 - Your Unique Self-Help Plan Chapter 10 - IndexIntroductionCreating Your Unique Self-Help Plan: Setting Goals and Selecting MethodsCreating Your Unique Self-Help Plan: Plan ManagementCreating Your Unique Self-Help Plan: Stick With It!Example self-help plans: 1 & 2Example Self-help Plans: 3Example Self-help Plans: 4Example Self-help Plans: 5 Chapter 11 - Specific Problems Chapter 11 - IndexIntroduction to Specific PlansAbuseAddictions (Including Alcoholism)ADHDAnger and AggressionAnxiety and WorryCompulsive Eating and Not-EatingDatingDebt and Compulsive Spending (Shopping Addiction)DepressionGamblingInternet AddictionObsessive Compulsive DisorderProcrastinationPublic SpeakingRelationship ProblemsSelf-ConfidenceSexual AddictionSexual ProblemsSleep ProblemsSmokingSpeech ProblemsWorkaholism Chapter 12 - Dependency Chapter 12 - IndexIntroductionForces of DependencyMethods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your Thoughts and BeliefsMethods of Decreasing Dependency: Change Your BehaviorMethods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your KnowledgeMethods for Decreasing Dependency: Change Your Identity More Information Are You Ready to Declare Your "Emancipation Procrastination? Or Is It Time to PANIC?Dysfunctional ProcrastinationHow To Set New Year's Resolutions and Stick With Them Questions and Answers What is the true meaning of being defensive?Stuck in an on-again, off-again relationship for 10 yearsHow do I get out of a friendship?Anger To Cover SadnessAsking a second time for boundaries to be respectedWhat is the right path of action?Please help me with basic social skillsstanding up for oneselfThe Catch 22 of Fear of AbandonmentWhat is wrong with me? I Don't care anymore... Blog Entries The Nature of EnvyHow To Stick To New Year's ResolutionsUnderstanding PerfectionismSelf-Control and Success (and how to learn better self-control too)

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Sexual Identity and Gender Identity
Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. and Jolyn Wells-Moran, Ph.D.

• Sexual Identity and Gender Identity.

There are some aspects of identity that cannot be taken for granted, including sexual identity and gender identity. While most people are born prepared to feel comfortable with their body's gender, and to desire sexual contact with members of the opposite sex upon sexual maturity, there have always been a minority of people who do not fit this mold. Homosexual people are attracted to same-sex partners. Transgendered individuals are born feeling that they are actually a member of the opposite sex wearing the wrong body type, external characteristics to the contrary. The exact reasons for why these variations of human sexuality occur are not known definitively, but what evidence there is points to the influence of varying hormone levels on fetal brain development during pregnancy. Hormones appear to determine sexual preferences, and to condition the brain to think of itself as male or female. While homosexual and transgendered individuals can choose to not engage in sex at all (like any heterosexual person might), they seem to have little choice over who they are attracted to, or how they think of themselves.

There is widespread prejudice against homosexual people in America today, and even more prejudice against trans-gendered people. Consequently, the majority of homosexual and transgendered individuals are not comfortable expressing themselves or exploring their preferences freely as children and developing adolescents. Many attempt to deny the reality of their sexuality and try to fit themselves into a heterosexual mold, making themselves miserable in the process. The teen suicide rate within these populations is correspondingly high. Due to prejudice and intense social pressure to conform, people with homosexual and transgendered preferences face special challenges in coming of age that heterosexual people do not ever face. The influence of sexuality on identity is thus large, and the potential for sexuality-related issues to occur very real.

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• Are you comfortable as a man (if you are male) or do you think you might be a woman in a man's body.
• Are you comfortable as a woman (if you are female) or do you think you might be a man in a woman's body.
• Are you attracted to same sex partners, opposite sex partners, or to both same and opposite sex partners? If you are attracted to same sex partners, are you comfortable sharing this knowledge with sympathetic people? Have you told your family?
• Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Are you ever ashamed of yourself or your desires?
• Have you suffered negative consequences of prejudice against homosexual or transgender sexuality?

Updated: Jun 28th 2006