wow - anon - Aug 7th 2008
What a very interesting (and helpful, I might add) conversation. What I want is to be loved.... no matter what. Ugly/handsome, fat/thin, young/old, rich/poor, good/bad. E.g. would I continue to be loved if I was a fat, ugly, old, poor not-nice guy? I dare anyone to say Yes to that. I do find SOME consolation in knowing Jesus hung out with, and accepted, the bottom-of-the-barrel people, but its not the same as flesh-and-blood, unconditional acceptance. What I've been working on is unconditional self acceptance. If I can at least accept being with myself, then I won't be quite so lonely. hello - toni - Jul 23rd 2008
i am sitting here at work dreading going home. i live by myself, and I feel like I step into a void everytime i walk through the door. I try to stay busy, but that keeps me from being at home and getting things done. I keep myself busy during the day, even on the weekends, but it's the going home at night and facing the loneliness that's difficult. I've never been in a relationship and have gone through several groups of friends. I think the group of friends i have now I am stable with. It's not having the intimate companionship. I get so depressed not having anyone to intimately share my life with me. I try to remain hopeful, but mostly i feel like i have to resign myself to a life of being alone. In Retrospect - Michele - Jul 20th 2008
Loneliness can be like a vicious circle. You crave the company of other people, but if other people either shun you or hurt you or use you in some way you become so disappointed that it wears on your sense of "self". I have struggled all my life with feeling "left out" and alone. Starting with my own family. Many times over the years I attempted to form closer relationships with members of my family. But if I attempted to reach out for support I was generally left with feeling like they viewed me as some kind of unwelcomed burden. I dont bother trying anymore to avoid being disappointed by them. (example- I had my gall bladder removed 2 weeks ago and not one of them called to ask me how I was). I have had a series of disasterous "love" relationships over the course of my life, the worse one being involved with an extremely abusive partner. I have since moved on, I received all kinds of councelling to recover emotionally and pychologically; I successfully pursued a very challenging career that gives me a huge sense of personal accommplishment, yet I still have feelings of inadequacy when involving matters of the heart. I am very outgoing. I have a great job that requires me to interact with professional people. I do so with ease, yet there is a small scared person inside of me who worries that it is all a charade, and the sensible side telling me I am being silly. I realize its all about self confidence. Its also about not wishing to get hurt again. It about feeling inadequate. In the end you put on the brave social face, yet inside you are still very much alone. Sometimes it is far easier not to try, to hope even for some kind of personal connection with someone else. I drag my loneliness around with me like some silent witness that seems to confirm that maybe I am just destined to be alone. Lonely ? - Ghost - Jun 17th 2008
How? I've been trying for 51 years, people just won't leave me alone. I don't bother anyone and don't want to be bothered by anyone. Why can't you just live your life and not step on mine. Get a hobbie, get a life, but leave me alone................. lonely - mare - Jun 4th 2008
MOST OF THE TIME IM FEELING HAPPY AND ALIVE, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL A VOID INSIDE,LIKE A VERY DEEP SADNESS. Sometimes It Can Backfire - DannyM - May 23rd 2008
Getting out and about sometimes help's with loneliness but what is being talked about her is just surface level contacts with others, not the close, caring relationships most of us crave. And being out there and seeing so many happy couples enjoying each other can amplify one's grief at not having a partner and can make leaving the house very difficult. About Loneliness - - May 20th 2008
In my parents' generation, friends were made across the fence and often these were just acquaintances who helped to make life convenient once in a while. True friends are needed to make loneliness go away. Even just one. So how does a person get friends? Answer: Go to the huge variety of groups there are out there for every type of interest imaginable. Our parents did not have this luxury but we do!! We can now end our loneliness by going directly to groups where our own interests are at the forefront. Right away we have something in common with those people, which is one of the main requirements of friendship! Also, I think it is important to go to places, perhaps volunteer, where there are people who are in need. Those people would love to hear you read to them or just talk a while or listen to the poetry they memorized so long ago. This is another way to increase the number of people in our lives and have a range of experiences in the mix! Sometimes avoiding loneliness only means getting out to do anything at all, and giving our time to someone who would just bloom from the attention! No-one is lonely when they are engaged in something with a purpose. Find that, and you will find a lot of good things coming into your life which will certainly ward off loneliness! - - Apr 30th 2008
I come across this website when I decided that I want to do something about my issues. I'm looking for a website or some sort of guidebook to aid me when i'm feeling like this. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions? A little bit about me. My relationship with my partner ended long time ago and because I was presistent, she gave in. We're no longer together but we talk almost everyday upon my request. I think I'm at the verge of stalking her because I call her like 100 times a day. She gets really annoyed with me because I get really jealous with almost everything she does Not only that, I am very needy and feeling insecure most of the time. The crazy part is not because I like her a lot and want to be with her but it's because I am afraid of being alone and bored. When that happens, I cry to get over it. So, any suggestions people out there? Suggestion for support and change - Dutch girl - Mar 20th 2008
I know this feelings of loneliness can be overwhelming and you feel utterly lonely and miserable. So are thousand of other people on the wordt! This is not to make the problem smaller, it is a serious problem and there are things you can do about it. It is possible to change, with help. I read and did a course Creative living.. step by step to a life without loneliness. I liked the honest approach of the author (it all started with her own loneliness) and the practices she gives are very helpful. Not : go to something you like and mingle. But start first with yourself. Who you are. What are your patterns who prevend you from changing. And she gives Step by step through practices you get the feeling that you can change. What you possibilities are, what you want. She helps you to find out what you want. It is a dutch book but I am sure that there are book in your own language who can help too. The author is Jeannette Rijks, i am pretty sure she help you with some good titles if you mail her (in her book she says she will answer questions). Goodluck and love to everybody outhere struggling with loneliness and with themselves. I know why I'm lonely - joanzie - Mar 13th 2008
I am lonely and sad because my hubby just passed away.We have been married for 28 years and I miss him so.I wish I had one more day to tell him thank you for loving me unconditionally.Thank you for our beautiful children. I want the world to know you are a good person.I am sure there are alot of people in this world greiving for a loved one. God Bless you all. i can relate - Lacy - Feb 9th 2008
I can relate to all of these feelings, my heart goes out to each and everyone out there that is hurting! A prayer from my heart to yours: Lord please touch each and everyone of these people with your love,mercy,grace and kindness. Help them all to see how much you love them even though they don't feel loved. Lord I choose this moment to love each person through your Holy Spirit. Amen "Without love, I am nothing." - Suzanna - Feb 7th 2008
Hi There! I feel all your sorrow. I am also one of the extremely lonely people. I am 30 years old and live 6000 miles away from where i was born and raised, and away from my family. It was my choice, I have no one to blame. I agree with all of you. It is difficult to establish good, honest friendships and relationships nowadays. My approach to my loneliness however extends beyond the psychological and physiological explanations and takes loneliness to a spiritual level. Everyone must agree that we are social beings. We are not supposed to be alone. God created man and woman to unite and become one. It means that every one of us has the desires and needs to be loved, to be cared for, and to be accepted by another person. I only feel truly compelete when I have a solid emotional background, unconditionally loved, and I know that I always have someone as my support. In turn, I know that I am able to love them back, care for them and can make them happy. I know that my loneliness is coming from the lack of finding true love and honesty in people. Without love I feel like the Bible describes: "They are admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth... they have lone for a better country - a heavenly one." (Hebrews 11: 13-16) "They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." (John 17:16). In my oppinion, there are less and less people who capable of giving slefless unconditional love like Jesus did. I bilieve that nothing is wrong with us longing for love and human interactions. Since we are in a body, we can experience God's unconditional love through the kindness and love of other humans. I wish people today would focus a little more on real and not superficial love. I wish people were not so selfish. There are too many topics that teach people how they only need themselves to true happiness, and also teach them to focuse more on the "Self". I must disagree. I indeed need others to love me and make me happy. I just have to find them so I can love them back and contribute to their happiness too. Cheers!! Thanks to God! I agree, nowhere man - hurt one too many times - Feb 5th 2008
I find so many people to just be cruel. I always thought there was something wrong with me, but I realize that I am a good person. Not perfect, but a compassionate human being with feelings and consideration. I feel like there are only a few of us left in the world, slowly becoming extinct by the cold-hearted. Lifehouse "Simon" - "The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones, breaking them 'til they've become just another crown" - - Feb 5th 2008
yes i agree that we are all lonely. but in the spiritual world, there is no loneliness. god is everywhere. we are never alone. we should have a constant conversation with him at all times whether we are feeling lonely or not. as we become wiser in this world, the only dominant realization that everyone has to learn is that this life is passing fast. there must be a meaning to all this! the feeling of loneliness is the mechanism for us to realize that we dont really belong to this world. we are really meant for the afterlife! we should prepare and be excited for that! cheers! Learning Loneliness - - Feb 3rd 2008
I am almost 52. Last week I just realized that every single one of us is in this world A.L.O.N.E. We come in alone. We die alone. In the interum we simply interact with one another, however, everything else is alone. Is there something wrong with me? - - Jan 13th 2008
I am a college student and I work and go to school. I have a great relationship with a man who loves me but I have a horrible issue of loneliness. I moved to a large city with my best friend and she left me so I was left by myself. I met people in the 3 or 4 yrs I have been here but I have no friends. Sometimes I get so sad and I ask myself what is wrong with me. I am a beautiful intelligent 20 year old woman with absolutely no friends. My boyfriend says its all in my head that I'm just like everyone else but I cry when I'm alone. i'm not depressed but I do feel like people will reject me if I try to reach out to them. Maybe I feel like this because my mother left me when I was eight yrs old. can anyone give me any advice? The need for a "social revolution" - frustrated - Jan 7th 2008
I came across this site when I was seeking advice on how to overcome social barriers thats keeping me from meeting and having relationships with people-especailly women. I know I have a lot of work to do in improving social skills. I am a 27 year old man, I don't really have very many friends, and my past lovelife has been very unsatisfactory. I am not ugly or a dork or anything like that. I have had some bad trials in life and unfortunately alot of it has manifested in how I view myself. I have joined a Church singles group. It has helped me to a point as far as in getting me out of the house and all but it hasn't brought me any success with women and everytime I go to one of the outings, I get nervous and tense up everytime and i'm always looking for signs of approval or dissaproval among the other singles. I need to not only read about social skills, but to apply them properly and successfuly to social situations, instead trying to make or maintain conversation and then shooting myself in the foot because of poor dialogue, shuttered speech, and poor body language, resulting in a displayed of low confidence. I have even gotten to the point where I have questioned my own existence and even wished I was dead a few times. The sad thing is I am fully aware of the situation and causes, b ut I can't seem to break out of the self-destructive cycle. I am not too pround when I say that I need all the help I can get. Agreed - Elma - Jan 4th 2008
My perception of people is the same as yours. I can't get over it. I've even seen a counselor, which I have always seen as weak and degrading, and the idea seems to be to ignore the evident truths that I have come to realize about the pointlessness of existence and the fact that everyone I know has the potential to betray me at any time. I'm on Wellbutrin now, and it's helped a little, if only as a placebo effect - I think I'm going to be better. But it is the only reason I get up in the morning - to take my pills. I don't know what the point is still, when for some people, they'll never be loved, and eternal love is a Disney dream, especially when it comes to men, who can get over a heartbreak with a beer and a few days' bitching, whereas women suffer for the inexplicable and draining love of nothing but the shell that most people are. Thoughts - nowhere man - Nov 11th 2007
I have been extremely lonely most of my 45 years. When I was young, my childhood was mostly spent alone, I was a social outcast. I had very few friends and sometimes none at all. I was harassed constantly by my peers. I have had long standing friendships which are now gone and also a marriage for 8 years now gone. Now, I have an 8 year old relationship that is kind of dry. My only son will be moving on to college next year and the prospect of this is simply unbearable. There is also the prospect of my love relationship ending soon because of illness,strife, and philosophical differences. I have found most people to be shallow, unintelligent, rude, selfish, (shall I go on ?) Don't really know what anybody can do about it. I look around and I see corruption and evil running rampant. I am mostly disappointed with life and people. "No one knows what its like to be the sad man, to be the bad man, behind blue eyes" "No one knows what its like to be hated, to be fated, to telling only lies" WOW! - - Sep 26th 2007
It sounds like you have been hurt. It's good you're talking about this. Isn't this a little obvious? - - Jul 28th 2007
If most lonely people packed the gear to do these things, they wouldn't be lonely in the first place. There's little to be done for most lonely people. smile - - Jul 11th 2007
Bah, hunbug! - Aaron Agassi You've made my day! :) Bah, hunbug! - Aaron Agassi -=- FoolQuest.com - Jul 10th 2007
Get serious, please! Do not insult our intelligence. Many people enter cults in desperation to belong. Of course, almost any alternative can be better than some cult. But finding anywhere where one will then have real input seems next to impossible. And making friends remains the same pointless crap shoot, online or off. And activity arbitrarily for sheer distraction is no answer either. | 
